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Adam and I keep our lovers separate (more on that later).

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But society told me I had to be with one person at a time, with the goal of choosing one person forever. After a really great, long-term, successfully monogamous relationship ended, I was suddenly single in my late twenties and enjoying the freedom and the variety. Adam was fun and our chemistry was fantastic and rare, and though we kept it strictly physical, with those boundaries clearly defined throughout, spending time together was becoming the highlight.There have been instances where something has felt uncomfortable, or times we’ve felt hurt, so we've modified.We don’t get mad at each other if something happens that feels uncomfortable as long as it’s not a violation of an existing rule; we learn from it, and make a new rule.Rule 1: This was the first rule we made up: This is our primary relationship.We make a point not to spend too much time with secondary partners. But that's something we've never really had to make an effort for.

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